Knife
by Isaki-chan
Summary: I really love Sasaki and Saiko s familiar bond build on the same kagune type they share. I made up a story based on "What if Saiko bears rinkakou from Kaneki?" and I turned everything into a tragedy.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Knife

Chapter 1

Anime: Tokyo Ghoul/ Tokyo Ghoul :re

Characters: Sasaki Haise/Kaneki Ken, Saiko Yonebayashi, etc.

* * *

[A/N: I`ll try something new. I`m not sure if I have to use "POV" but I hope you`ll figure it out. I put myself in Saiko Yonebayashi`s place and some things are related to my irl life. Also I am very attached by Sasaki Haise`s character from manga in a protective why. I don`t see the other two alter egos as precious as Sasaki and I can`t explain why not even to myself. Hope you enjoy it and if you want to give me some ideas, I`m open.]

* * *

Busy steps.

"It`s been already two years since..." The inner voice fades in the sound of steps.

The great kanji blows on the top. "Kanou Hospital"

Eventful steps. People were passing through the large hospital park.

"I remember this place like yesterday... I kinda miss it. No. I hate hospitals. I hate to be sick and I hate hospital movies. Heh. Too bad I watched that horror movies after the surgery. Maybe I would have more twisted feelings about what could happen worst. Haha..." The female voice giggles sadly as the image focus on a certain short height girl with blue hair. Her expression was fainted but her mind was cheering up.

A few people passed by hitting her as a child.

"Well, fuck you! Don`t judge short people!" She growled under her breath not wanting to be heard though. "If he would be up, then I won`t have to rumble around this hospital..." She plays her poker face and finally she is seen in front of a certain door at the 3rd floor. "Heh. I`m faster then you think, [reader]." Her inner voice giggles bravely and her hand opens the door. Her face looked like a smacked smiley face.

"What`s with that face? You look like smiling at my funeral." He lowers his book.

That was a quarantine room and all the floor was empty.

She comes closer locking the door, losing her expected face. After all she need to smile when she visits someone at hospital.

"You are definitely not a morning person, Saiko-chan." He sighs and places the book away, moving a little so she could sit on the edge of the hospital bed. "Shirazu and Torou-chan were here in the morning as you already know..."

"Maman."

"Wha-...!"

"Get well." She hugs him as she hoped in bed.

"I... will." He smiles kindly as always patting her hair. Even if she didn`t talk much, he could understand her pretty well. It wasn`t her childish worry and her spoiled mood around him. It was the link between their rinkaku. He thought that maybe her experimental kagune was his own kagune material, but not totally sure about his assumption. Two years ago he lost his memory.

* * *

Darkness. Void.

Water echo.

"It`s been already two years since I was here..." His thug voice was as kind as today.

Echoes through a thick dark water merges with his headache.

"I know this place even if my eyes are shut. The hospital scent rings in my head. I can bet it`s the same hospital..."

* * *

"Do you always think about what happened two years ago?"

His thoughts shatters the series when Saiko moved from his arms. "Ah! Saiko...-chan. Why do you say that...?"

"Mhm."

"I...I can`t deny but it`s not like I want to return back there..." A risen sweat drop rolls on his forehead. He would never return back. For Arima. For himself and for everybody new in his life.

"Is it alright if maman wants to remember?" She paused her half cocky questions growing fear on Sasaki`s face.

"Saiko-chan... There are people I care about and I don`t want to disappoint with my disgraceful past... as ghoul..." He closes eyes not frowning at her questions. No one asked him these kind of things but this is one of the reasons he is locked on the 3rd floor alone. This place is like a rapture between the two worlds. He knew he was here before. Two years ago he woke up here, the place was familiar to him. He couldn`t recall the exact kind of things that happened but the man from today is afraid of the truth.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A nurse came in and changed the flowers.

"Thank...-" Sasaki added noticing that the middle aged nurse didn`t even bother to look at him. "...you." He returns to his book fixing his glasses. He was already healed but for some reason Arima asked him to rest. It wasn`t a bad thing. He received good books last time Torou visited him... and snacks from Saiko, which he couldn`t eat, but forced himself. Everything taste nasty and sometimes he wonders how she can eat those candies.

"Mhm..." He drops the line in the book and looks on the window. The silent drip drop of liquid perfusion was melting with the silent rain outside the window.

* * *

Two weeks ago.

A sad evening. The sky was blood red over the grey buildings.

Noise.

Street noise mixing with screams and cries.

"Hurry up!" Shirazu was holding Sasaki on his right shoulder and Urie on his lower left one. The difference of height wasn`t a big problem for them, as long as Sasaki was half fainted and his inspector suit was socked with blood.

"Maman!" Saiko`s drawling voice was fallowing the fast feet guys, though only the peak of her hair could be seen.

"Sasaki-san!" Torou was cupping her arms in their back worried the most.

Still Shirazu played the strong hearted one, while Urie was nothing but present there. Nothing really bothers him except the eyes of the others who were definitely worried about Sasaki`s condition.

* * *

A few hours ago.

"Roger." Urie nodded from the top of a building looking towards the target.

It wasn`t the first time they were on haunting ghouls in the middle of the day, but this time it was different. An Aogiri member enterprises something in a public building. They were not sure how he passed the Rc gate, but he was going frequently there for a couple of months.

Uries was placed in front, waiting for the ghoul to leave the comercial building.

Shirazu and Saiko were pretending to be normal costumers, while Sasaki was waiting at the other exit.

Torou was the missing one from the view.

Noise.

"We saw him..." Noise. Costumers talking loud near the cashier. Noise. "Saiko! Don`t...!" Shirazu was arguing with Saiko who was distracted by the candy shop. After a long moment of fight with Saiko, Shirazu reported to Sasaki back. "Sassan. We saw him. A tall looking like man wearing a hoodie like coat..." His description was fuzzy but it made an appropriate idea to Sasaki. "He looks like he changed his clothes in the men toilet..." Again Saiko saw something and Shirazu had to drop the report through headphones.

Sasaki sighed from where he was receiving the audio report.

Noise.

He appeared.

"It`s here!" Urie said landing from the roof in a mater of second, didn`t waiting for any answer from Sasaki.

Eventful noise.

The grey haired young inspector run in Urie`s direction after ordering the other two to leave the store and come at the first Rc gate. He was setting everyone for the moment when the ghoul will show off himself.

* * *

"It`s been a while..." The hoodie ghoul lets his face to be seen, taking the coverage off slowly. He knew the other ghoul investigators surrounded him, yet he closed his eyes for a long moment. His voice didn`t reach Sasaki, but when he opened his eyes, the older investigator took a step back.

"Tch." Urie rises a disrespectful stare at Sasaki, before stepping in and showing his quinque. Any of the Quinx squad were not allowed to use kagune in public places like this.

The ghoul`s eyes were proving the duality. Half ghoul. Half human.

"Are we supposed to judge him as ghoul or as human...?" Shirazu was standing somewhere behind the target holding on Saiko to not do anything.

Nothing happened till Sasaki gave them orders. Though the half ghoul man was standing there fixing his eyes on Sasaki, he almost got his half voice back. "G-guys..." They looked at him, mostly hearing him through headphones. "I know this man..." Sasaki`s face was pale white searching for sustain from behind.

"But he`s a ghoul!" Urie thought for himself not being affected by the circumstances and goes in anyway.

"Damn..." Shirazu hurries to stop Urie, leaving Saiko behind. He was the only one really worried about Sasaki who looked like seeing ghosts.

"You go as Sasaki now, huh?" The tall half eyes ghoul dodges Urie pushing him away and as Shirazu belated the op, he got the chance to see the ghoul from close up before getting a strong punch. "It`s been two years, right...?"

"Who..." Sasaki was speechless trying to remember the ghoul`s name. He was sure he met him somewhere and the link was broken because of the different worlds they live in.

"Did they erase your memory?"

"Who are you...?"

"You asked me two years ago..." The ghoul comes closer.

"A-Amon... K-..." Sasaki was mumbling something taking another step back as the man was coming closer.

"I`m disappointed you remembered my name while you forgot yours, Kaneki-kun." He places a hand on Sasaki`s shoulder, who lost balance and collapses.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Noise. Rushing people and some are stopping by looking at the two guys being blown with such inhuman strength.

"Sasaki-san!" Torou came just in time to catch Sasaki from behind.

A long open moment as the daily noise stopped. People were staring.

Sasaki`s eyes were mirroring the silver sky as Torou was keeping his head on her lap. Probably he would hit the concrete if she didn`t come there. She doubt something and her arrival was welcomed. Judging by her female clothes, she looked like having a free day.

The tall half ghoul was sitting there forced to withdraw his hand. He waited for the young investigator to recall his senses, but as the two from behind approaches panicked, he had to vanish from the view. Somehow he didn`t want to see Kaneki hurt more than he was two years ago. He heard the whole story. As long as he couldn`t ask him personally, he had the chance to hear it from those who met him. The lucky experiment of Dr. Kanou. Kaneki Ken, an ordinary college student with both parents lost.

Amon understood everything with maturity and as he didn`t interfere with CCG these past two years, he wanted to return at least to see what Arima build on the broken shell of Kanou`s experiment.

* * *

Shirazu and Urie arrived fast, facing a dashing dark ghost retracting in the sky buildings. As for Urie who would probably break the line and fight the ghoul, Shirazu was worried about what just happened and dragged his scattered team mates at Sasaki`s scene.

"Maman...!" Saiko runs shaggy and lands near Sasaki, shaking him from day dreaming.

People already started to move again mumbling about what just happened, about the man who vanished like the wind. His speed deceived their eyes.

Noise.

"Ngn..." After a few seconds of shaking, Sasaki stirs to get up from Torou`s lap. "I(boku)..." Kaneki paused realizing the change all of a sudden. "I(ore)... am fine..." He fakes a kind smile rubbing his chin. It was the best lie he could tell trying to recognize the faces around him.

"Maman...?" Saiko`s eyes were searching on him. The girl`s worry makes Kaneki slap his own face to get rid of the infernal pain.

"Y-Yes...?" He was disturbed, but he had to play Sasaki`s decent role, as the revived Kaneki could make everything worst. He struggles from Torou`s hands, pushing the guys lightly. His mind was fighting what to do, yet the daily noise was mixing with his headache. He wasn`t Sasaki and these guys were just gathering around him leaving him without air.

"You are not maman!"

Kaneki`s grey eyes looks in surprise. He didn`t know how she could tell that he was not Sasaki. It`s just this own body after all. He didn`t say anything unnatural, yet she burst out with this all of the blue.

His legs, his half low body numbs.

"F-...!"

In a couple of seconds Kaneki was back down on the concrete. Torou didn`t move from his side and her knees had nothing to do raw concrete.

"Sassan!"

"Sasaki-san!"

Sasaki`s team was alarmed near the fainted young inspector.

* * *

Evening sets fast after the busy day. The sky was blood red.

Street noise mixing with the squad screams.

"Hurry up!" Shirazu was holding Sasaki on his right shoulder and Urie on his lower left one. The difference of height was small, but that wasn`t the bad thing. Sasaki was stained with blood. It was Torou`s who was holding the biten arm.

"Move!" Urie growls at the crowed people.

"Maman?" Saiko`s was fallowing them, trying to grab someone`s sleeve so she won`t fall behind.

There were people stopping by just to watch.

Noise.

"Hey, Saiko." Shirazu notices Saiko clinging on his shirt. "What did ya mean back there that he`s not Sassan?"

Saiko shrugs careless like she already got passed the scene.

* * *

[A/N 1: I used the usual way the characters calls Sasaki Haise.]

[A/N 2: Well, I read manga and I can tell that Kaneki calls himself "boku" ; I think he has more respect for his older personality to call himself "ore".]


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

* * *

[A/N: I apologize for the short uneventful previous chapter, but I wrote it in between Lol games.]

* * *

Saiko was nagging in her room playing on her console. She could hear the others talking about Sasaki`s return home. Even if her fingers were busy framing, she was listening outside the room.

"Hey, guys! Did ya hear that? Kaneki is back...! " This was Shirazu`s alarmed voice mixed with the speed rate of air coming through his sharp teeth. "Is... Kaneki...our Sasaki...?"

"It`s not like any of us own him." Urie`s voice could be heard so low as Saiko imagined him crossing his arms already pissed off by Shirazu`s rumbling.

"Guys! Why do I think that Akira was really worried today when she took Sasaki home?" Shirazu was talking loud again and Saiko couldn`t hear Torou at all. Probably the eyepatched female member was just keeping herself quiet.

"Oh, please..." Urie growled again.

"Shaddup, punk!"

"Guys, please, stop..." Torou`s fainted voice could be vaguely heard.

If Saiko could hear, then Sasaki could hear their loud talk too. The blue haired girl realized that from the start and chuckled sadly. She wasn`t mixed in their business, but maybe this wasn`t the best thing for Sasaki after he returned from hospital.

"...idiots..." She sighs rolling on the other side and continues playing her spacial horror game.

* * *

In the other room, on the stairs, Sasaki was reading a gifted book from Torou. He didn`t deserve it. He felt guilty even if he can`t remember biting her arm in his lack of stamina. He doesn`t remember anything, but the sudden wake into an hospital bed. Then their visits and now he`s finally home.

Shirazu was pretty loud in the living room.

No matter how hard Sasaki tries to keep reading, from time to time he covers his ears. He felt so guilty and those pages he was reading were like a blank gap of time.

"P-Please... Make it stop." He leaves the book on the other side of bed, burying his face in the pillow and imitating desperate sobs rapt by the flakes. Somewhere, not far away from his current state, Kaneki was ready to give his aid.

"Sa-... Sasaki... I`m here... Sasaki... Let me take care of it... S-... Sasaki... Sasaki... You won`t allow yourself to get hurt again... right... Sasaki...?"

These watery noises were messing around with his will since their last ghoul mission. Since then, he was retired and forced to spend a week in hospital. The certain name "Amon Kotarou" was spinning in Sasaki`s head and a lot of other questions.

"Mamaan!"

One of his tired eyes opens and he realized in surprise that Saiko was watching him for a while shaking him violently. "Saiko-...chan."

"Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah, I`m fine... Sorry." He turns around and fixes his pillow. For some reason his eyes were already dry and this helped his pride more than he thought. It might pass long minutes fighting with his inner self and his tears run dry.

"I`m glad you are home now, Maman." She hugs him like nothing happened outside his room. Yet she was lying nicely making him forget about what he heard. Shirazu was a loud idiot, but Saiko knew he was actually worried. They all were really worried about Sasaki`s health, but they expressed it differently. Torou`s book was a visible evidence.

"It`s alright, Saiko-chan. Don`t worry." Sasaki`s ego was patting her twin tails with the same parental love of a real mother. This delights Saiko, but she understood his crying in despair. It had nothing to do with the noise in the living room. Kaneki could take over Sasaki build up personality anytime and even if Sasaki wasn`t real, she didn`t want to loose his attention.

The short girl hugs him holding on his shirt with a fainted smile. "Maman, did you know that I got an appendicitis surgery two years ago in the same hospital?"

"Eh...? Really?"

"Yeah... I was kinda scared to be left alone, but I got over it..." She started to mumble with indifference. He had to listen anyway, so it was just a matter of time to make him forget about Kaneki.

Yet he rubs his chin in silence.

"What is it, Maman?"

It doesn`t work well for Saiko. Sasaki was already matching things up. No matter what, he was pretty cerebral and he sensed that hospital wasn`t an ordinary one even if he couldn`t remember many things as Sasaki.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Everybody gathered in the living room. For some reason Sasaki was dressed casual to gain back his status in front of his subordinates, but he was standing carefree on the couch handle.

"Saiko got her kagune just like you guys, recently, right? Yet she got tested two years ago for compatibility with my RC cells in Kanou hospital."

"Eh?" Saiko tilts head confused. She didn`t get it, but she trusted Sasaki`s choice.

"What do ya mean, Sassan? She didn`t have a high score at that test?!"

"Apparently they didn`t pick her by the aptitude test. She was set up to bear rinkakou."

"What do ya mean, Sassan... ?"

"Kanou Hospital has nothing to do with human surgery..." He mutters looking aside being concerned about past facts. "It`s not a coincidence that she got an apparently normal surgery there."

"Sasaki-san, in this case Saiko-chan is just a premade experiment..." Torou looks up from the couch, but he stares in Saiko direction how she poses numb on the couch. He was sure that she has more to say than she pretends to be.

"Maman..."

"Sassan..."

"Sasaki-san!"

"Tch." Urie gets up from the queries summon and gets some water. "How am I supposed to believe you?"

"You don`t have to. This is not a didactic speech, this is the last thing I want to clarify before I leave the inspector badge." All eyes were pointed at him while he was only seeing Saiko with melted eyes. "Saiko-chan, please don`t break the line and live peacefully under CCG protection. This is what "maman" wants for you."

"Ma-...Maman...?"

"What do ya mean ya leaving?!" Shirazu gets up to grab Sasaki, while Torou clings on him to stop the eventual drama. "Let me go...!"

Urie places the glass of water on the table half dropping his jaw.

Sasaki left the living room ignoring their act, leaving all of the four Quinx members to argue how much they want.

* * *

The grey haired guy didn`t show any kind of lose, till he started to take off his tie and undo his shirt buttons. It wasn`t the right moment for Saiko to come in and see him crying, yet she was there coming from behind and hugging him tight.

"Maman...? Or shall I call "Kaneki-san"...? "

"Kaneki is fine..." He mumble softly watching over her small hands over his chest. Half of the shirt was undone so he could feel her warm hands on skin.

"He won`t return, right...?"

"Saiko-chan... I(boku)..." His tears stops widely. "Sasaki was meant to live a peaceful life and I don`t want to break his memory in front of you, guys." He moves her hands in his palms. "I know you loved him, but I am not him and he probably will never return.."

"I thought you said I have kagune material from you... This doesn`t make any sense if you think that I don`t care of you. After all you were the original owner of rinkakou."

"Actually it was Rize-san. The one whose organs lay inside me and the original owner of my kagune." He turns around to face Saiko. His face was calm and conceived just like white haired Kaneki used to be. "I have this twisted parental feeling for you..."

"Then hug me and tell me you`ll bring back Sasaki."

"...to be honest, I am not sure I can make it through even myself..." He hugs her anyway patting her twin tail like Sasaki used to.

"You`re lying!"

"I wish to."

"Where are you going?"

"Nowhere you might know."

"Can I go with you?"

"Definitely not." He looks down at her poking her cheeks. "When did you become so concerned about my being? Where is the lazy girl I used to clean her ears?"

"Shut up! You`re not maman!" She slaps him to stop playing with her face.

* * *

New Anteiku. On the front door, the closed slate was directing people to other coffee shop.

"If you are here to unravel sadness in our hearts, you can leave. I`m not happy to see you disturbing my business. Time means money, you know?" This was Touka. She hided her real feelings to not get hurt again. She missed him, but she couldn`t shed a tear. Her hands were busy making coffee. "Kaneki?"

"Touka-chan..." He smiles sitting docile but calculated like a statue, cupping his hands and looking gentle at her half turned around straight and raw frown. He didn`t want to make her angry taking Saiko in, but the blue haired girl was busy delighting with cake.

"Why did you take her in?! Does she know about us?"

"Heh... Touka-chan..." He rubs his chin lightly ignoring her question. "Do you remember when old manager asked you to teach me how to make coffee? You said it`s alright if the water flows aside, yet it was wrong, but I covered you. Back then I wasn`t sure if you were angry on my presence or on everybody else..."

"Now are you sure?" She added bitter finishing making the coffee and placing it on table in front of him.

* * *

[A/N1 : If you didn`t read Tokyo Ghoul manga, you don`t know the reference scene.]

[A/N2 : Also I asked myself why "Knife" and the only thing I remembered was that my friend who asked me to write this said "fork and knife" randomly in a chat conversation. I picked up the order lol]


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

* * *

[A/N1 : Thank you for the long review. I`m glad you like it. It`s true the way Kaneki refers to everybody inside his head when he goes in centipede form, but I think Sasaki Haise calls himself "ore" at least in front of his subordinates. Also, my name is supposed to be funny not oppressive. My sense humor is weird and/or sad for other people.]

[A/N2: hardcore Touken ahead]

* * *

"Ngn... Touka-chan..."

"Shut up."

"Touka-chan, don`t..."

"Stop complaining." Her voice was low and her hands were busy with his clothes.

"Ngn... Don`t...!" He fights back to stop her undoing his buttons, so she didn`t mind leaving him half exposed, while she was holding him on the small couch in the back room. She was done with his belt and takes it to use it later if he won`t stop complaining.

His eyes goes wide open cornering his embarrassment tears, when she lifts her apron and lowers her pink bunny panties. He moves his hands that were stopping her to go any further and covers his red flushes face.

"Bakaneki, don`t have to act so innocent. You are a grown man now. Besides if you are making any more noise, I`m gonna kill you after we`re done." She put his semi hard cock inside her wet insides sustaining her weight with hands on his chest. As both were superficial naked, this scene turns Kaneki`s body on, even if Sasaki was the one having part of all of Touka`s treatment. He wanted to please Sasaki as long as he was part of this world. Both Sasaki and Touka were precious to him, yet even if he would accept Touka`s love, he can only make her sad.

As Touka was thrusting in and out on Sasaki, the grey haired guy lifts his head enough to kiss her panting lips. She was heated by the friction and her apron tightening her waist. She didn`t expect the kiss and his human scent turned her eyes red.

"T-Touka-chan... I`m sorry... I... don`t..." Tears rolls on his burning face couldn`t voice the reason why he wanted to be forgiven.

"...hot." She growls ignoring his weak moment. She loves him from the bottom of her heart and she will never regret this. She lifts her working shirt and bra from under her apron shoving out her medium sized tits. Even if she didn`t expect any interaction with his hungry hands she punishes him anyway. The blue haired girl takes the belt she seized from him a while ago and forces it over his throat suffocating him lightly.

"W-Why...?" His tears stop dripping in astonishment.

"Make me come already. I have things to do in shop." She huffs doing all his work. After all he only laid himself on the couch allowing her to do what she wants with him. His parted legs and his hands standing out of way only made Touka feel dominant till it was done.

When he felt the burning in his tummy, he grabbed her arms informing her with begging eyes to step aside. But she wanted it. He fills her grunting his eyebrows and holding a lone moan. His apologize lattes when his first thing to do was to get over the stars he sees after he released himself.

She was long gone and dressed up leaving him on the couch. Her face was bright as she uses to welcome humans and ghouls in the new Anteiku coffee shop.

* * *

Saiko wasn`t an ordinary customer and even if she was on hold, she didn`t suspect anything. She waited for Kaneki to finish her business with the young lady in the private room. She understood they had some secrets from the time when CCG was haunting him and she didn`t want to even bother thinking. Kaneki promised to take her with him only if she won`t trouble him.

"Do you want another slice?" Touka smiles kindly at the girl not understanding much for herself, but her scent was familiar.

"Mhm." The long haired girl half nodded looking at Touka quizzical.

From the other room, Sasaki finished dressing up. His mind was kind of dizzy and his first persona was sleeping. He bumps in the coffee shop with big eyes watching over the two girls interacting.

"What kind of relationship is between you and her?" Touka smiles without any kind of remorse.

"She is..." Sasaki fights to call Kaneki in help.

"Sasaki is maman!" Saiko gets up and slaps the table with both palms. Those few customers looked in her way and Sasaki couldn`t say a thing at the scene. He forgot that she knows him so well. Yet he couldn`t switch with Kaneki yet. Probably that was Kaneki`s first and he didn`t get over it. Watching how your own body does something like that with the girl you love must be heartbreaking. Even if Sasaki feels attract by the blue haired ghoul from Kaneki`s past, it made him feel guilty.

"Saiko-chan started in the ghoul investigator squad I lead..." He comes closer to the table Saiko was eating cake and started talking in silence. "They used my rinkakou as her experimental kagune. Also my feelings for her are, indeed, paternal, but I`m more like a mother figure for her..." He smiles shyly patting her hair.

"Maman." Saiko hugs Sasaki possessively.

"It seems like you found people who love you in these two years." Touka laughs a little at them, then leaves to take orders. Somehow on her face could be see a pleased smile who didn`t fade till the closing. Even if she loved him, she understood this was for the best.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Dusty day. The sky looked amazing fading like a rose in autumn. The fall matches with Kaneki`s extinsion from two years ago. From the higher levels they were watching it.

"Maman, thanks for spending a little more time with me." She smiles covering her further sadness. If Kaneki will die, Sasaki will be no longer to take care of her.

"Saiko-chan, I wish this day would never end..."

"You can`t stop time."

"No need to. It`s autumn..." He was silent recalling the final battle with Arima. Somehow he smiles at the sky remembering Kaneki`s story.

"Autumn..." She repeat after her looking curious checking with eyes around. The abandoned building that Sasaki picked for thos night wasn`t the right place stuffed with rags that imitate a comfy bed. Though the girl didn`t complain about it. She wanted to help Kaneki because he was Sasaki`s body.

"Saiko-chan, what did they tell you about Kaneki? What do you know about him?"

"Hmm... I don`t know much myself, but Arima said he was strong enough to break his quinque. I also believe in his strength... That`s why he can`t die! If he`ll die, then maman will be gone forever...!" Saiko clings on Sasaki who shoves his hands in pocket smiling sadly.

"Saiko-chan, I don`t want to die either, but if it`ll happen, you can`t cry a life time for me. I know your mother was an ugly person, that`s why I treated you like my own child. I was happy with all of you, but the family link between us was made by my rinkakou..." He didn`t hug her.

"Why not hug?" She frowns hugging him anyway.

"Saiko-chan..." His eyes melt, but he wanted to leave a sore goodbye. "Please, build your future without me..." It hurts to be so frank and cool minded. He wasn`t like that. He loved Saiko so much and he saw in her eyes the child he will never have in this world. He didn`t know about Kaneki`s deep love for Touka till today when he remembered, but it seems that he was the third wheel. Kaneki, Touka and Saiko will make a nice family if Saiko will see him as father instead of "maman".

"Sleep well." But anyway Sasaki was thinking about it, Saiko wanted to share same raged blanket with him. She suffocated him in sleep with her short hands. She didn`t want him to leave. She knew that probably by tomorrow, Kaneki will return and she won`t have another chance to see Sasaki.

* * *

Silence of the void.

"I`m sorry..."

Some dark echoes ruins the scare.

"...sorry... I`m sorry... I`m sorry... I`m..."

Kaneki and Sasaki were mirroring each other. While Sasaki wore kindness in his different eyes, Kaneki was masked sobbing without power to scream his anger and lack of power. Sasaki kneels near the down head original self and starts to remove the Eyepatch mask. He was so calm and nice doing it, while Kaneki was at the opposite burst of feelings. When his fingers removed the mask, he lifts Kaneki`s head on his shoulder pulling him in a warm hug. Kaneki`s arms couldn`t hug Sasaki back, but his apologizing words were repeating over and over again.

"Thank you for everything, Kaneki-kun."

"I(boku)..." Kaneki lifts head looking at Sasaki`s peacefully face and clings on his chest growing his confident stare.

"Are you ready...? Let`s go." Sasaki was patting Kaneki`s hair watching how the white haired guy sanity breaks apart as his serious expression curls into a sadistic grin.

* * *

A few hours ago Sasaki and Saiko were leading to a certain complex of apartments. That was a new zone for Saiko, but her inspector suit made her fear nothing when she was with Sasaki.

"Here. This is it." Sasaki rings the door bell with a confident smile hiding a thin shyness, while Saiko copies him.

In a few moments, the door was opened and a young wife welcomed them. Sasaki shows Saiko`s investigator badger and the woman allowed them to come in and have some coffee.

"Too much coffee..." Saiko looks disturbed at Kaneki sipping from the coffee cup. She knew Touka made coffee at the shop too.

"It`s okay. I like coffee." He smiles moving his attention at the woman sitting in front of them.

"So how may I help you?" She was gentle and nice and definitely not a ghoul by her scent. Her children were playing in the other room, sometimes running on the small hallway to peak at their mother conversation.

If he would be Kaneki he would never get that far.

Everything in the apartment looked anew. Even the front door was replaced with a better one with a good locker. His eyes seek for something familiar, but only the paint on walls recalls the past two years. He shags a little swallowing the pain and asks anyway. "For how long did you move here?"

"Winter, two years ago... My husband heard about this place five days before Christmas..."

"20 december..." Saiko looks at Sasaki`s concerned face noticing something wrong with him. That date rings in his ears.

"I remember like today, our kids were little and this apartment looked warm..." The woman continues. "Oh, you are ghoul investigators, right? I heard here used to live a college student... They said he got missing a few months before the community agreed to sell his house... Poor boy might got eaten by ghouls..."

"Did they give you any name?" Sasaki listens the woman`s speech hiding his confused sorrow.

"Umm... I think it was Kaneki Ken." The woman smiles taking a long sip of coffee.

* * *

[A/N: Kaneki`s birthday was on 20 december.]


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

* * *

[A/N1: I feel guilty for not posting anything yesterday, so I`ll post today 2 chapters.]

[A/N2: ...time gaps and inverted chronology.]

* * *

As Sasaki apologized for taking the woman`s time, he leaves together with Saiko. It seems like a long walk when he is silent. Saiko would cling on his sleeve for his parental hand, but she was out of space. She understood how he might feel. Even though that was Kaneki`s apartment, Sasaki got a special bond with his other ego.

"Damn...! What have I done wrong to be treated like this...? I know Sasaki is broken right now, but only because he feels guilty or powerless against his past events..." She shocks head walking behind Sasaki thinking for herself.

Common daily noise rings around them in the city. It was a boring late afternoon and as she hanged with him to the coffee shop in the first place and then here, she knew it was nothing good about their journey.

"Yet a broken heart is better than a cold one... that`s why Sasaki is nothing like Kaneki and he must live on...!" Her internal voice was fighting to speak up.

"Saiko-chan..." He seemed serious and she felt uneasy.

"Yes?"

"Please, keep it for yourself." Even if she was one step behind him, he turns showing his usual kind smile. It was all fake, but he couldn`t do anything to help that painful sight.

"Mhm." She nodded looking away.

He sighs quietly hiding his sorrow and continued walking till the resident area. She points at some building and both reached in. It was deconstructed.

* * *

Night. It was a little hard to set himself free from Saiko`s tight hug. Kaneki didn`t want to leave her all by herself, but she knew she can return to CCG and inform others. He planned to go in Aogiri. There was the right place to find Amon and a few more answers.

Thanks to this raved fall, the night was cold and dry. Probably his favorite season, but more like the perfect ending.

He didn`t feel bad for locking Sasaki away from this world. Saiko was like his own daughter and even if he`ll die, she will keep Sasaki as her good memory. Kaneki smiles at the thought and passes in.

"Almost there." Sasaki`s voice talks inside his head. If he would be mad at Kaneki, he would probably be honest with himself, but no. It was true that Sasaki wanted what is the best for Kaneki.

Not realizing that he reached the abandoned docks, a shady figure landed and welcomed him.

"Tch." Kaneki gets in guard seeking for the fast ghoul who lurks faster than his eyes.

"Konbanwa, Kaneki-kun. How did you escaped from Arima`s hands? Did you run away?" It was Amon`s voice and this made Kaneki sighs in relief and retire his urge to haunt down the enemy.

"Konbanwa..." Kaneki smiles by luck rubbing his chin. It was almost the sunrise.

"Early hours of the morning are so refreshing near the shore." Amon breaths in enjoying the salt breeze at docks. The sick moon was barely lighting himself not far from Kaneki`s sight.

"Amon-san. Are you here by yourself or did Etto-san asked you to take me?" Kaneki trusted Amon.

"I`ll tell you, Kaneki-kun, but I want to know about CCG first..."

"I left CCG in this morning. I showed to my child all humanly places she can go anytime for support if I won`t return..."

"I heard that CCG made researches on your kagune while you ware dead ..."

"Dead? Dead?! What do you mean dead?!" Kaneki`s eyes blow up stepping in and grabbing the tall man`s collar with despair.

"You died... two years ago. Arima killed you."

"Did I... really... died...?" His eyes were trembling trying to remember anything about his last fight with Arima. His head only recognize the pain but everything was pitch black. He lost his eyes back then.

"Kaneki-kun, I`m sorry..."

"Why everybody is apologizing to me...?" He feels weaker than Sasaki, always in the wrong place and no matter if he remembers when he was alive, he can`t tell what happened in the dead gap. He was smart and linked everything. This is how he figured it out that Saiko bears his kagune. It is true he didn`t remember anything for a short period of time but he couldn`t guess how long it was just nothing there for him. When he woke up as Sasaki, he built everything from nothing. He gained good friends and he even woke up with a child. Kaneki was asleep and gone.

"You have no idea how much I wanted to talk to you, Kaneki-kun... I don`t think it`s the right time to face the one eyed owl. If anything will happen to you, I won`t be able to find my own answers..."

"I... I am fine with that..." This mental fight gives him a strong headache and his view goes blur again around Amon. His weak fists clinging on the man`s collar lowers to his chest and then all his body collapses in Amon`s arms. Silently Amon picks the guy up and vanishes in the pale morning shadow.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Saiko arrives home. Shirazu and Torou were waiting impatiently in the living room, while Urie was around listening music in his headphones. The blue haired girl`s got her usual twin tails looking unsightly messy. This reliefs that Sasaki was gone and nobody took care of her hair.

"Where have you been, Saiko-chan?" Torou welcomes her with arms wide open patting her hair and smelling the gross scent . She didn`t say a thing but Urie from behind sniffed it too and stepped aside.

"Maman went to suicide...!" Maybe she didn`t mean it that harsh, but she can`t coordinate her inner voice with the world outside.

"Wha-?" Torou gasps.

"Where is him right now?!" Shirazu takes leadership and comes at Saiko. He shakes her concerned about this situation.

"Don`t go harsh on her...!" Torou tries to protects Saiko, but he`s too angry to control himself.

"He went to Aogiri!" Saiko shouts and breaks out from his hands.

In a few hours Torou fixes Saiko`s hair and asked her to change up and dress up for a proper meeting. The Quinx group goes to meet Arima and inform him about Sasaki.

* * *

Kaneki wakes up agitated like from a real life nightmare. He wasn`t sure where he was, but his framed memories from last night spins around Amon. That man come in the abandoned room, opening the metal door with his back as his hands were caring two cups of coffee.

"Where...?" Kaneki gets up fast throwing the dirty blanket away and just realized that he was sleeping on the concrete. Maybe he was too tired to feel the hard floor.

"It`s safe here." Amon shags and hands him a cup.

"How did you know that I woke up?"

"I didn`t."

"Thanks..." He takes the coffee and starts to sip loudly. It was warm and good.

"Aren`t you going to ask me where did I learn to prepare coffee?"

"No, I`m not interested." Kaneki was way colder than Sasaki and he didn`t feel bad speaking his mind.

"As expected." Amon chuckles and pats his grey hair. "I bet you know how much mental and physical pain I dealt after you felt me half dead... I don`t blame you, but I better died than to turn in something I hate the most. A ghoul." Amon shows a kind sobriety.

"Amon-san... Even if your limbs are torn apart, you have to run... to live on."

"...that was Shinohara-san`s quote. I miss my old days in CCG..." Amon is not touching his own coffee cup. "Kaneki-kun, I heard most of your story but I want to ask you, how was it for you?"

"Amon-san... There are questions that I can`t find the answer for myself... How shall I feel about Arima who killed me, yet saved me?! I`m so mesed up, but I know that it`s not only my drama."

"Kaneki-kun..." Amon notices how Kaneki`s rage burst out slowly and his ghoulish eyes shines red. He knew what is going to happen and stands tall.

"Please, don`t try to stop me." He shows his scourging kagune and pushes Amon from his sight.

"Do you think dying is a solution? Is there anything you want to do before it`ll be too late?"

"There are people I want to see for a last time, but time is my enemy right now. I can tell that CCG will come after me and there is no time to waste. I`m sorry, Amon-san." He was thinking how worthless he felt watching Sasaki making love with the girl he loves. Touka couldn`t tell if he wasn`t Kaneki. After all Sasaki was always kind and gentle for her taste.

There was also Tsukiyama-san who was left behind and probably will die of starvation because of him, but he was too afraid to redirect to his Palace.

Quinx team means a lot for him, but again he can`t return now. He would be treated as ghoul and probably will die in vain. He met his peace knowing that Saiko will not put herself in danger since she`ll stay under CCG protection.

And yet, Arima, who is even. He trained Sasaki to become an inspector and probably they will end up killing each other, while Kaneki`s task is Eto. She was the root of all evil.

As the grey haired guy opens the metallic door, Amon grows his own kagune. Koukaku, the same like the old manager. "I ask you reconsider your chose, Kaneki-kun."

"Amon-san, you said that you want to ask me a few things before I blacked out last night. Ask me." Kaneki turns around wearing a smiling mask.

"How did you bear all of your burden all this time without any support? Was it as painful as it was for me?" Amon growls powerless grinding his sword kaguke on the wall behind.

"Mhm. If you already know why are you asking me?"

"Eh?" Amon growls looking at Kaneki`s clear face. He looked pleased with his face or at least the guy`s expression was deceiving him, because it was painful for himself. All this time he found answers by himself and he learned about Kaneki`s puzzled story.

"By the way, Amon-san. Your step father from CCG prison misses you. He won`t be able to see you again, so he wanted me to tell you."

Amon`s eyes widen in surprise, but he wasn`t able to say a thing. In a matter of seconds Kaneki`s rinkakou was stabbing in into a tight hug. Tears rolls on Kaneki`s face hugging Amon and letting him falling on the wall. He kept the taller man there rubbing his forehead on the wound and mixing his tears with Amon`s blood.

Those silent sobs on the man`s chest were futile. He let Kaneki to cry as much as he wanted. His pats his hair feeling his pain as his wound heals. Amon understood the feeling. Kaneki didn`t have any other family member except a daughter bearing his kagune. They were the same lying about the only family member they have.

"Kaneki-kun..." Amon`s hand gets tired rubbing the boy`s hair and Kaneki`s tears didn`t feel as wet as before. Probably his tears dry, he thought. He grabs his grey hair way too raw and lift his head. It was the same weak sight he saw in the boy`s eyes back when they first met. But now Kaneki`s ghoulish eye matches with Amon`s cursed one. Both smiles a little sadly. He swore he would kiss the boy, but the memory will kill himself from the inside later. All he could do was to hold the boy tight in his protective bare arms.

"I don`t wish to fight you..." Kaneki struggles to go.

* * *

[A/N: Another Tokyo Ghoul manga* references.]


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

On top of the highest building, in the docks complex, a shady yet short figure makes herself visible growing all the owl parts at once. Eto was originally the old manager daughter. He was found as child by Tatara and raised well. She gained many powerful ghouls by her side, supporting the one eyed dogma. The story goes on where the first natural one eyes ghoul was born. They crowned him. No detector could suspect that he was ghoul. His Rc cells were normal. This was the real benefit of the half ghouls for those who used it against the law.

Eto set the world for the next generation. Kaneki was a singular experiment, while after the great owl battle, she rescued her father and used him as material. This is how Amon ended up bearing koukaku.

As her true owl form stretches arms, her inner chuckle finds the way sorely.

"Takatsuki-sensei..." Kaneki`s hair turns while almost completely standing right at the building root.

"You don`t know the struggle until you reach your destination. Then you look behind and wonder what made you go so far." Her words were wise, yet she was laughing at his pain.

"...you were my favorite writer." He mutters powerless admiring her as he always did. Her rude laugh hurts, but he would expect this kind of attitude. No one was got more control over his own situation was kind to him. Ryze lost her own self, the manager lied to him, doctor Kanou took him as a subject and now it was Eto`s turn.

"Kaneki-kun, I`m glad about it." She smiles half sadistic piercing him with her shining holes like eyes through the owl whole.

"I... I guess it means nothing to you, but to me. I`m glad to be part of your future novels." He regained his old kind smile watching how coming to smash his standing ground. He dodged it in time growling his own kagune tentacles and breaking his dull persona when his Centipede aesthetics kagune arms spreads out from his body.

"Oh, I see you are ready for your last perform, Kaneki-kun." She laughs again under the own mask.

"I know..."

"Eh?"

"I know you`ll enjoy it."

Eto chuckles and don`t waste time to see him is his full Centipede form. "I`ll be sad if I`ll kill you. You were the first half ghoul based on a surgery." She somehow shrugs and kicks him out from the docks. She wanted more time for her own battle with the inspectors who were already invading their sight. "As for now, I hope you know how to swim." She vanishes her ghoul form and comes closer to the eye of water she was sure she drown him.

* * *

Arima left the Quinx squad to runs in Kaneki`s direction, while he gets ready his quinques. He looks silent in their back as they disappeared from his eyes. The others inspectors were gained around the one eyed owl holding their weapons.

Eto laughs in front of them bating her kagune arms and growing them fitter than in the last battle against Kaneki. "You might face me, but your true enemy is the boy I faced a while ago." She paused laughing more. "He`s still alive, but i`m not sure if he can stay sane any longer. You shall worry about those four kids you sent in that way." She turns half head in the direction she left Kaneki.

* * *

Shirazu and Urie shoved their kagune arms in the watery air. The strange feeling of being watched didn`t stop till Saiko saw the man she used to care about. Even if it wasn`t the old Sasaki she knew, the same white greyish bun head calls her memories. This Centipede form was him was breathing loud soaked in water and half raveled.

"M-Ma-man...?" Saiko`s eyes grows bigger and fear reaches her.

"T-This is not Sassan anymore!" Shirazu turns in the way and grunts at the Centipede ghoul.

"But..." Saiko didn`t had enough time to say a thing and Shirazu started to attack Kaneki.

Urie stood behind watching how Shirazu gets so easily pushed away with the Centipede kagune. He could see how that kagune becomes like a shield anytime Shirazu tries to strike.

"What happened to him...?" Torou was worried cupping her arms at chest, while Saiko was looking uncontrollable at Shirazu and Kaneki. Urie ignores Torou even if she was talking to him. He was most concerned how to strike in using Shirazu as spawn. Every move the shark boy did was futile and he looked weak against that heavy Centipede kagune.

"Sassan! What are you?!" He growls harder and harder and he lowers his attacks in capitulation. After all he was the only one trying to do something.

"If we are standing here and watch, nothing good will happen..." Torou was worried that Shirazu might get in danger if he`ll piss off the Centipede.

"He`ll be fine." Urie thought about Shirazu stepping aside and rubbing his kagune for a nearly act.

"I want to help...!" Saiko growls from behind points at Shirazu getting flight away while he was gaining his breath.

"That idiot..." Urie frowns and gets in the fight, fallowed by Torou who was fallowing him blindly. They didn`t see the Centipede attacking till Shirazu was exhausted by hard trials.

As the two of them got blown so fast, Saiko was the only one standing in front of Centipede. He walks slowly in her direction trailing his long kagune arms. The crawling noise was disturbing. Those long things were moving on their own and it made Saiko to cover her mouth in fear. Sasaki or Kaneki`s eyes were half shaded and numb like the half face mask build up from kagune was decently scary.

Torou rises her arm to help Saiko somehow, but her lungs were bleeding and her words were shattered. It might be definitely a saving grace if she could scream at Saiko to wake up and run.

* * *

[A/N: Early happy bday to me and here it goes another chapter after long I misspelled some words, it`s ok. No one reads except this bish who asks me to finish it. Enjoy!]


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

* * *

[A/N1 : I`m wondering how people who start 3 things in same time can live. Oh, wait! I`m that kind of person. *cries over this unfinished fanfic and two others built up on rp starters*]

[A/N2: The second part of this chapter is the sequel of Chapter 4 when Saiko visited Sasaki in his room.]

* * *

As what happened recently was a totally mess and everybody was acting reckless drove by their survival instincts, Saiko was the only one who didn`t move her state. She was scared and troubled seeing Sasaki this way. She understood that this was not Kaneki also.

"Why is Sasaki... No, Kaneki. Why is Kaneki coming my way? I didn`t even rise my kagune and I`m bad with any kind of quinque... Maybe he got insane... Maybe he`ll recover... Maybe... Why the others attacked him? Does he look dangerous to them...? Oh, wait. His kagune shape is ridiculous. It`s like centipedes..." She shakes watching how it comes closer and closer to her spot.

"Saiko, move!" Torou gained her voice back puking blood from the crawling movement. "Saiko...!" Torou starts puking more blood trying to get up and help at any cost. Her kindness and carry touched Urie at this rate.

"If you`ll get in Centipede`s way, you`ll probably get killed." The dark paired guy said getting up by his own near Torou and helps her to put herself together.

"Centipede, you say..." Shirazu gets up too looking blank minded in Saiko`s way.

* * *

"Maman?"

"Umm, Saiko-chan, you know... it`s kind of odd... that you call me like this."

"Eh...?" Both stood in Sasaki`s bed while she was playing with her hair. They had same hobby about Saiko`s hair. Probably that`s why she kept it long, so she can play with it at bored times.

"It`s like even if you act like a child, you can`t deny that you`re only two years younger than me... This is kind of odd, because you are the older one from the Quinx..." He didn`t had time to finish what he bothered him and she rolls near and hugs him like she doesn`t care. It only looks the way Sasaki feels in human society. But to her, ghouls or people, it doesn`t matter. She didn`t pick to become of the Quinx members, she had no choice. He knew her back story and about her ugly mother, so he felt protective to Saiko since she was acting like a child. But many times he felt embarrassed being called "maman" in front of other people. It wasn`t alright at all. He was also a man, nothing like Saiko imagines about him when she calls him that way.

"You know... As long as you are Sasaki Haise to me, you are maman..." She rumbles something while her long hair was covering her speech. She hands a strand of her hair to Sasaki to play eventually.

"Thanks..." He giggles petting her hair and moves his hand over her whole head buried in his chest and covered with her fluffy hair.

"We have one thing in common and that`s we both like my hair." She lifts her head standing on top of Sasaki. Because they played with her hair, the twin tails got messed and releases her blue hair over her shoulder and a few strands lands on Sasaki`s face.

"You..." His eyes glitter watching over Saiko speechless.

"You have no idea how much I love you, maman..." She falls on him hugging him tight.

"...maman, huh?" Sasaki laughs a little hugging her back and getting up from bed.

* * *

Kaneki`s Centipede kagune pierces through Saiko seeking for something. But he was careless. Her kagune striked through him back. Even if she wasn`t at her fullest ghoul strength and she could use her kagune for a short period of time, it was worth attacking Kaneki.

"...maman?" She asks worried even if blood soaks her lips flowing at her feet. She didn`t want to hurt the same body Sasaki used before, but this Centipede ghoul was scary.

"Are you... Sasaki`s... spawn?"

"Please, give him back..." She already started to cry to Kaneki`s astonishment.

"Are you my spawn?!" Kaneki or Sasaki were remembered for their kindness, but for some reason he felt dragged by this female ghoul. Her kagune didn`t retreat from his chest till his Centipede arms dashes and vanishes leaving his body to fall on his knees. "Who implanted you my kagune? Why did he put my burden on your shoulders?!" He was growling at Saiko`s feet cupping his face in anger and pain.

"K-Kaneki-san..." She covers her healing wound showing a little too much of her breasts and hugs his head. Her ghoulish eye was trembling understanding that Sasaki will never return.

"Do you know the original owner of my rinkaku?! Do you know how much I dealt to stay alive?! Do you know...?!" His broken mind shouts things that he wouldn`t say in front of Saiko. Yet she was calm listening and rubbing his uper head to calm him down.

"I don`t. That`s why..."

"That`s why you`ll kill me." He lifts head half laughing waiting for the final strike. He knew that even if she loved Sasaki, she was tougher than a normal girl. He felt it.

He was wrong.

As he expected her to slash him in two, a backup slayer kagune reached for his head, staining Saiko`s eyes with Kaneki`s blood.

* * *

While Quinx members were dealing with Kaneki in Centipede form, CCG inspectors were dealing with Eto. She started to laugh bleeding. Pain made her feel alive. In her mind Kaneki`s words rings nicely. He wanted to get killed by her after all. He praised her as his favorite writer, as a real important person who changed his life. She couldn`t allow him to die by someone else hands, as long as she could fest on his meat. Half ghouls are really tasty.

"You fools! You know that Kaneki Ken is the real treat, yet you are fighting me in order to give him more time. I`ll disappoint you all if I`ll just escape through your hands and go for his head." Her owl form spreads her wings and flies in Kaneki`s way.

* * *

"There are so many things untold, yet the half ghoul girl stood alive till the end of the time. She merged in the human society, but unfortunately for her, she couldn`t have any children. Who knew? Maybe you passed by her on street?" The blue haired woman finished the story and turns the lights off while the children were already asleep.

Her work day was over as the parents of the two children arrived home. "Tomorrow, at same hour, okay?"

"Sure. Good evening." She takes her coat and umbrella while autumn was playing a short rain in the night.

* * *

The End


End file.
